NASCAR not over without 'Stewies'
Other than the PGA Tour, no major sport ends its season with as little glamour or pizzazz as NASCAR. Crowning a preordained champion who doesn't have to win the final event is not much fun.
But what should be amusing will be the announcement at 6 Thursday night of the first "Stewie Awards" during a broadcast of Tony Stewart Live on Sirius radio. (And Sirius is the perfect place to air a racing show because if you want to hear it, most likely you'll have to sit in your car.)
Tony Stewart has been my favorite driver for a couple of years for two reasons: 1. He's really good; 2. he has a sense of humor. (He also has all of his teeth but that's an outdated NASCAR joke that I refuse to use.)
Said Tony Stewart of his own awards: "I'm sure the folks who have to organize the Oscars and the Emmys will not be looking over their shoulders."
Added his show's co-host, the perfectly named Matt Yocum: "It's a NASCAR version of Beavis and Butt-head meets the Oscars."
Many of the awards are proper and respectful. I don't care about them. Here are the ones I like:
*Dazed and Confused -- Winner should be "Teresa Earnhardt and DEI allow Dale Earnhardt Jr. to leave for Hendrick Motorsports." But Tony Stewart also nominated himself for trying to pit before pit road was opened in a Busch Series race.
*Best Vocal Performance -- Tony Stewart could win this one for saying after his first win of 2007 that he was going to sit with a case of beer and drink until "he sees cardboard" at the bottom of the box.
*Best Stunt Sequence -- Got to be Clint Bowyer crossing the Daytona 500 finish line on his roof. Got. To. Be.
Knowing the new NASCAR, it will try to figure out some way to penalize Tony Stewart for handing out such "improper" awards. And that's why there should be one more Stewie for "Running Your Sport To Ruin." We all know who'd win that.
*ON BROADWAY: This morning NASCAR's top 10 drivers and cars will literally stop traffic in a 1 1/2 -mile loop that starts at Times Square (44th and Broadway). Angering New Yorkers trying to get to work could be the most dangerous thing these guys will do this year. And wouldn't it be funny if a New York cab beats them to the finish line?
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